ATTENTION MANKIND

Sorry folks, here's a little rant I wrote up over the holidays, and in my overt laziness just never posted. There you go Jack, I admitted it, I'm too damn lazy. And to continue that trend I'm not going to bitch about everything individually. No no, I'm just going to list all the things that really piss me off and then offer a bulk solution. Here we go, if you fall into the following catergories:

Religious nuts/extremists, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Aggresive Shoppers, People with a functional IQ of less then 70, Amway reps, People with no sense of humour, Bad (American) pilots, Pollutants of the Gene pool, Telemarketers, People who inexplicably take up an entire sidewalk/shopping isle/width of a mall while walking slower then a 104 year old dude with a walker, People who wear those frigging christmas sweaters or reindeer antlers, People who order entire meals in a Tim Hortons Drive-Thru, People who leave shopping carts in parking spots

Do the world a favor, go play in traffic. Are ya gone yet? Good, now it's time to deal with the aforementioned traffic.

Here's the top ten list of bad driving traits:

10. If you drive an SUV and think 4 wheel drive makes you completely invincible in winter weather,
9. If talking to your ditzy friend on a cell phone is more important then looking at the road and cars around you,
8. If the concept of a merge lane is Greek to you,
7. If you leave your car covered in snow, cleaning only your windshield so you can't see shite anywhere that isn't in front you,
6. If you pull up on a lane that you know ends just to cut someone off and gain two spots in the line,
5. If you pull out to pass and don't,
4. If you drive at less then half the speed limit on a Bare Dry Highway,
3. If, when it snows, you start thinking that since the little white/yellow lines are gone the whole width of the road is at your personal disposal,
2. If you are in the left most lane and at the last minute swerve across three lanes of traffic to make a right or vice versa,
And the number 1. If you come the wrong way out of a parking lot entrance, turn on your right turn blinker, then make a left

Then you need to take into serious consideration eliminating yourself, and any offsrping you may have inadvertantly created, from the gene pool.

So, that having been said, if all the aforementioned people listen to my advice, the rest of us, however few of them there may be, should have a good new year.